Sunday, February 28, 2010

Vintage Pattern Nudity

The Naked Seamstress finally lives up to her name and brings you nudity. Yes, nudity, you heard right! Here are some hilarious Vintage pattern illustrations from the 70s and 80s I found online. They can also be used as a guide on how to best cover your boobs when you happen to be a Vintage pattern fashion illustration. Let me show you some classy examples:

Exhibit 1 shows the popular fold-your-arms-over-your-breasts style. Let me add: your seemingly non-existent breasts. Alterntively you can also just show your nude back, but don't forget the obligatory glitzy choker for extra classiness.


Exhibit 2, brought to you by Kwik Sew, is a lot more pornographic than necessary for a pattern illustration me thinks. Look at those luscious grey (?!) curls covering up girl B. And also do note the long painted fingernails and bejeweled rings.Very sassy indeed.


And for the most creative boob cover ever we have to thank McCall's: Why not use a newspaper!? Yes, you can be dressed only in a half-slip and still show a keen interest in current affairs.

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9 comments:

  1. SusannahFebruary 28, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    Hilarious! I like how they have to come up with all these bizarre poses because they can't show garments on the pattern envelope that the pattern doesn't tell you how to make. Thank goodness there aren't any patterns just for stockings, I guess.

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  2. CedarFebruary 28, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    Haha! These are too funny. I like the 'flesh toned' bras in the last image.

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  3. eitchyFebruary 28, 2010 at 5:22 PM

    The last one is hilarious! (I found your blog from you feature on Burdastyle)

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  4. ZoeFebruary 28, 2010 at 7:03 PM

    Hahahahaha! Amazing! Excellent detective work in uncovering these (did you like the pun?). I agree, the second one is WAY more pornographic than was necessary. I love the third illustration with the newspaper, she looks like she's trying to look so innocent reading that paper, when actually she is nothing of the sort!

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  5. KID, MDFebruary 28, 2010 at 7:13 PM

    Awesome! My favorite part was that the pornographic grey haired ladies both have wedding rings. Only married women need tap pants!

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  6. LilyFebruary 28, 2010 at 11:17 PM

    Hysterical! I actually really like the knickers in the second pattern.

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  7. NathalieMarch 2, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    Here are some 40s similar examples which are equally hilarious from a great blog which I thoroughly recommend -

    http://glassoffashion.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/false-modesty/

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  8. VictoriaMarch 8, 2010 at 9:54 PM

    Who knew there were such risque pattern covers out there. This is soooo comical. Thanks for sharing!!!

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  9. Office Busy BodyMarch 9, 2010 at 12:27 AM

    Lol! I agree that kwik sew one is practically sewing porn - and even the shop it was purchased from is fitting. Sew Sassy indeed :P

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